The 4-Step Solution to Forming Good Habits

As humans, we shall always keep moving on. We shall always keep improving the lives of ourselves and that of other people. This is because this is the one reason we are surviving.

Hence, progress.

However, we sometimes reach the point when we are hitting a plateau. We felt like we’re not making any progress. It’s like you’re trying, you’re doing what you’re supposed to do, but you aren’t moving forward. It is exactly like rowing in a kayak against a decent current… you can be in the same spot after rowing for hours.

I have always wanted to improve myself. Yes, the hopes were up and I felt like I could do anything. However, after a month or so, my motivation started to drop. I couldn't keep up with my goals. I either kept doing repetitive things without much progress, or I ended up giving it up as a whole. WHY?? Giving up was the last thing I want, but I couldn’t help but stop dead in my tracks.

I’m sure it has happened to you as well. You wanted to have better routines. However, with greater hopes, comes greater disappointment. Eventually, you don’t even want to try anymore. It is because whenever you try, you end up failing to progress.

So, how can we solve this?

The generic story is: In a certain day, many people thought of all the great things they could achieve. It may be after looking at the glamorous lives of successful people, listening to a motivational video, or just magically having energy to make a change. Then, they would try to get allll of these done. They set unrealistic goals, hoping they can achieve their goals in no time so that they can impress their friends or have a better life. Then, after a while, they realised that things were not as easy as they thought. They stopped, they felt helpless because they couldn’t get to where they are. In the end, they gave up.

It is almost unavoidable that you have encountered or will encounter such an obstacle in your life. However, this time, you could be different.

The system is as follow:

1. Start small

2. Track

3. Build up

4. Automate

First, you start small. Since you’re probably living the laziest and most dissatisfying life before you had such a fanatical aspiration, it is impossible that you jump immediately to a whole different lifestyle tomorrow. Moreover, you cannot really erase the bad habits you’re having now… You can only replace them. Hence, start doing just the most minimal stuff (but consistently). You can do 1 pushup, read 1 page, sleep 15 minutes earlier… But the important thing is, you cannot stop doing that every day.

Then, you have to keep track. When you’re engaged in the process, it’s easy you lose sight of your direction. It’s like hiking in the woods, where you can easily get lost if you haven’t pay attention. Hence, occasionally, you should always plan ahead and evaluate your actions. The big theme is a constant progression. At this moment, you are not looking to get anything big going. You just want to KEEP the small things checked. That’s all that you need. Keep it for a consistent 1 or 2 weeks, and you will feel much easier to ascend later on.

Once you are comfortable with your routines, you can build it up. Like the original 1 page, you can progress to 5, 20, 50. The rule of thumb is you must keep doing the minimal at least, while trying to do the maximum. At this point, it depends on how well you do you routines. If you are a fast learner, you can quickly improve. Hence, planning is crucial. Plan for the activities, time and place in prior so that you will be able to do your routine even when your mind is blank at the moment.

There are a lot of different sayings about automated habits. Some say it takes 21 days, some 66, some even half a year… Whatever is the number, it will vary due to circumstances. What’s important is that you know the cue. When you can do whatever you’re doing without looking at your planner, and you can complete everything effectively and almost effortlessly, congratulations! You have reached the line of automation. Your routine has become your habit. For example, I always forgot to journal at first. Now, every night when I finish burhsing my teeth, I would automatically pull out the journal. One time, I didn’t realise I put my journal in front of me. That’s the level you want to get to, where your subconscious does it for you.

Analogy bubble:

“It’s like starting a fire. First, you have to spark the match with some friction. Without that sudden rush, there wouldn’t be fire at all. At the start, it is going to be cold and uncomfortable. After all, a good fire takes time. Second, you keep the fire going. You wouldn’t expect the fire to be huge at first. You just want it to not go out. Only once the fire is steady, do you carefully add the charcoal. It is then do you see the fire go brighter and hotter. At this moment, it is more difficult for the fire to go out as you have consistently added charcoal into it. At last, you just keep maintaining the fire, while it gives you the heat and light that you wanted.”

As the old saying goes, consistency is key. And being consistent with your good habits is probably one of the best things to ever have. It will appear small at first, to a point you think it’s useless. But it’s this moment that you choose to persevere. It’s this moment that the outcomes of the habits start accumulating. It’s also this moment when you will become a better version of yourself. Then, success happens… when you least expect it.